Alternates of Zero
by IcarusJon
Summary: What if Louise summoned someone, or something else. This will be a bunch of those types of stories. Rating is M just to be safe.
1. Dark Blade of Zero

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Familiar of Zero, or the Soul Caliber series.

I've read a few FoZ stories, where Louise summons what appears to be an inanimate object, only for it to become a live creature, or person after she kisses it. So I wondered...what if Louise DID in fact summon an inanimate(ish) object for a familiar? This is my first story, so be gentle.

'Thoughts'  
"Speaking"

**Dark Blade of Zero**

* * *

Summoning a familiar is regarded as a major milestone for Nobles.

For Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière however, it represented a chance. Her, Last Chance. Succeding at the summoning ritual would finally rid her of the hated title "Zero", but if she were to fail... it would be the cause of her expulsion. To be sent home...forever known as a failure at Magics.

'Ok, I can do this.'Thought Louise, 'I didn't sleep at all *yawn~*last night preparing for the ritual. This is going to work! Today is the day! I can't wait to see the look on that Zerbst's face when she sees the magnificent beast I summon!'

'Oh Founder. Please. Please let me succeed this day!'Louise prayed worriedly.

"Very good, Miss Montmorency," Congratulated Proffessor Colbert, as the blond girl made her way back to the crowd, smiling at the frog she had just summoned. The professer looked over his students, "Let's see...ah, yes. Miss Zerbst! Approch the summoning circle please, you're next."

As Louise's nemisis, Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst, sauntered over to begin her ritual, Louise drifted off, and began imaging that when Kirche had finished her summoning, she will have summoned a cow. With REALLY big udders.

Louise snickerd to herself at the image. 'That would serve her right. A cow, for a cow!' she thought.

A flash of light brought Loise back to reality, and it also signaled that Kirche had succeeded at the summoning. 'Please be something pathetic, please be something pathetic,' pleaded Louise.

"A Salamander!" Proclaimed the Professor. "Very impressive, Miss Zerbst."

"But of course," said Kirche smugly, "I expected nothing less!". Kirche sauntered back towards her classmates, her new familiar, tail ablaze, trailing just behind her.

"Alright. Has everyone gone?" Called out Professor Colbert.

"Louise hasn't!" cried out Kirche _helpfully_.

"Hmm. Quite right, Miss Zerbst," agreed the Professor, 'now where has that girl gone to...' "Miss Vallière! Come up here please it's your turn."

'This is it,' thought Louise, "I-I'm coming, Professor."

Louise approched the summoning circle, took a deep breath, brought out her wand, and began her chant.

It should be said at this point, that exhaustion, is perhaps not the best state to be preforming delicate magics in.

"I, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière, in the name of the great Powers, followed by fate, summon a familiar"

* * *

A strike to the face from an axe can do a lot of damage. If that axe is wider across than you...even more so. Being the recipient of such a strike, it is completely understandable that Nightmare. Wielder of Soul Edge. Has left, the land of the living.

Astaroth tilted his head to the sky, and indulged in some maniacal laughter to celebrate his victory. The completion of the task he was created for! Finally, his mission was over. Astaroth looked down towards his prize, and discovered to his horror, that in the few seconds he had taken his eyes off it...

The dark blade Soul Edge...had vanished.

* * *

As the summoning circle began to glow, Professor Colbert came to the realization the Miss Vallière's summoning chant was a little...off...and then...the circle exploded.

Lying flat on her back, about 5 feet further from the summoning circle then when she started, Louise heard mocking laughter start up from the crowd. 'I failed again.' Thought Louise, 'I guess I really am a Zero'

Louise sat up to stare sadly into the smoke, and rubble of what used to be the summoning circle, only to notice...that there was a shape within the smoke!

"I-I did it?" Louise muttered, "There's...somthing there." Louise excitment began to build. "I summoned somthing!"she exclaimed.

"Thank The Founder." Louise intoned softly.

Louise stood up and slowly made her way towards the shape. As she neared, and the smoke began to clear, she noted that whatever she summoned, it was oddly triangular, with some sort of protrusion coming out the top. Louise stopped about 5 feet from the thing to let the smoke finish dissapating.

When the smoke cleared, Louise fell to her knees, as she felt her world crumble around her.

A sword. She had summoned a _sword_?

Granted...it seemed to stand taller then her, and that wasn't even counting that the tip buried in the ground had to extend at least, another half a foot. Not to mention the fact that the handle, back , and even the broadside seemed oddly...organic?

It was at this point, that a large eye, positioned in the middle of the broad side of the blade. Burning with a silent Hunger, and Fury. Opened.


	2. Psycho of Zero

Disclaimer: I don't own Familiar of Zero, or Borderlands.

Inspired by the story 'Zero for Zero' by willyoliole.

Louise performs the summoning ritual, only to get a familiar that's a touch...unstable. Takes place just after the events following 'A meat bicycle built for two' in the Borderlands 'verse.

I'll be interpreting several of the in-game features ie. Health bars, character labels, levels, as part of Krieg's psychosis ...you know, for fun.

"testing testing" character conversations

'testing testing' character thoughts

_testing testing _Inner Krieg

**Psycho of Zero**

_I still say we should have ridden__** inside**__ the train._

"O, that this too too solid flesh would melt, Thaw and resolve itself into a dew! Or that the Everlasting had..." mumbling to himself, a unique psycho by the name of Krieg was taking a suspended train, by clinging to the outside, as opposed to actually riding inside it. It was quite a ways off the ground, but what's life without a little excitement.

_In fact, we could probably still get inside. The Siren's inside the train you know. Remember the Pretty Lady that was trying to kill us, before we made her smile?_

"No pain, no gain!" Krieg shouted.

_sigh. Sure, whatever you say._

The train suddenly jerked to the side, as an explosion further up the train caused it to derail. Unprepared for the sudden movement Krieg lost his grip, and began plunging towards the surface.

_It's a good thing that Pandora has a really low terminal velocity. Still, I hope we land on something soft._

(scene break)

Resembling the bastard offspring of a dog and a lizard, a Skag was pawing at the ground looking for food. Not an easy task in the wastelands. Hearing a loud sound coming from above, the Skag directed its gaze to the sky. Beneath it's feet, a green oval came into existence.

Were the Skag able to understand the human tongue, it would know that the being that just slammed into it from above, was screaming, "PUPPY!"

The Skag, and the psycho known as Krieg, entered the green oval, and vanished from Pandora.

(scene break)

A tiny girl with a mane of bright pink hair, strode confidently toward the summoning circle.

Around her, a crowd of students took a few cautious steps backward, and braced themselves for the inevitable explosion to come. Explosions are not normally associated with the summoning ritual, but the pink-haired girl was no normal student. She was Louise 'The Zero' Vallière.

Taking a deep breath, Louise raised her wand to being the ritual.

"By the Pentagon of the Five Great Elements. I, Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière, do beseech you to heed my summoning. To find my destined familiar, and to bring it before me!"

The summoning circle began to glow, and Louise's face lit up with excitement. 'It's working! It's working!' The magic in the air was almost palpable, and standing beside Louise, Professor Colbert who was assigned to watch over the summonings, smiled softly at what would appear to be Louise's first successful spell.

It was at this moment, that the circle, which was now glowing almost too brightly to look at, detonated.

Knocked to the ground from the force of the explosion, Louise stared into the smoke with dismay.

"Geez Zero," complained a busty redhead by the name of Kirche, as she brushed the dirt from her clothes, "Were you _trying _to kill us?" More complaints rose from the crowd. "My hair!", "Reggie, come back!", they shouted, "MEAT CUSHION!" shouted another. 'Wait...that wasn't from the crowd' Louise thought.

The smoke from the explosion cleared, revealing a large, well muscled, mask wearing man. He had yellow pants, no shirt, was holding some strange form of axe, and appeared to be standing on the crushed form of...

"My Familiar!", Louise screamed, "What have you done to it you-you Savage?!" she demanded of the brute, tears in her eyes.

_Alright, lets take stock of the situation. This, is clearly not Pandora, we appear to be surrounded by children, and one of the children, a small pink one, seems very displeased with us. Also, the older balding fellow looks like he's about to hit us with his stick._

_Don't. I repeat. Don't. Do anything aggressive._

_"_I'm here to shank and smile!" Krieg proclaimed, raising his buzz axe to the sky.

_...why do I even bother?_


End file.
